SEO Teacher

seo teacherSEO Teacher

The True History of Google Rankings. How does this Effect Your Page Rank.

Hi, I´m Bill the Geek. I’m an SEO Teacher. This is an article on the very basics of SEO, thus, “Seo Basics.” I´m a SEO Teacher, you can drop me a line or give me a call, I´d be happy to help you with your SEO. I charge by the hour, but most of the time I help clients double their Google visits and page views when they do exactly what I tell them to do.

In the mean time, as a SEO Teacher, here are the basics.

How do you get to Page 1 of Google?

First of all, supposedly no one has the answer to that question because the method that you can use to get to page one is a Google Secret. The secret is an algorithm, a mathematical formula. The formula is based on many different factors that Google changes about once every 9 months ( so it seems to me).

Why keep the quest to page one a secret? Good Question. As an SEO teacher, clients ask me this question all of the time. The best answer comes from just looking at the history of Google and the history of human nature.

Can You Say Jessica Simpson?

Sure, my clients all know who she is. Especially my male clients. Being a SEO teacher they all ask me, “So what does Jessica Simpson have to do with any of this?” You have to remember that Google started in a garage. The internet was new. People started to make money on the internet. Then people started to make more money on the internet. Then people got greedy, as they have been throughout time.

seo teacherSo, Google is in the garage and they make up a search system. It gets popular. Greedy people start making money from people finding their site on Google. Good people with content and great products and services to offer. Google is happy to provide the service, these good people are happy that Google is providing the search engine and these good people are getting more clients that are paying money for their good products and good services.

Of course the garage people, Google, have brains, and this is the beginning of the internet so the good people with the good products and services have brains, so, everything is working out good for the people that are working hard with their futuristic brains.


What they don´t tell little kids in elementary schools as they surf the internet in the computer labs at school, or in their bedrooms at home is that half of the world´s internet traffic is SEX based. HALF! Actually, the last number I heard was 60 to 80 percent. I never thought of it before, but given the numbers, it sounds like that if we want to grow the economy internationally, we should be teaching our students how to build really good SEX sites.

Well, back to the brainy garage people and the brainy people selling their good products and good services on the internet. Some people that didn´t have good products and good services and not so much on the brainy side, did understand the SEX side of human nature. Thus, they figured that even if they were selling toilets, they could put the word Jessica Simpson on their web site and then people that were looking for Jessica Simpson would find their toilet shop. Maybe these people wouldn´t find Jessica Simpson, but who doesn´t need a toilet. What the heck.

You may think I´m kidding about Jessica Simpson. Hold on to your seat. Being a SEO Teacher, I have to know a few things. For about 4 or 5 years straight, Jessica Simpson was the number one search term in the world. NUMBER ONE! And believe it or not, people didn´t want to know what kind of toilet she was using.

So, the not so smart people with the toilets were smart enough to know that Jessica Simpson could put them on page one of Google.

This worked for many, I guess, very smart people that really didn´t have good products or good services. As a SEO teacher, I have to bring this up.

seo teacherThe people in the garage, the Google people, realized that these sex based con artist were taking advantage of the purpose and good will of the Google functionality. So, the garage people had to do something.

The Garage People Step Up

Who doesn´t have a web site. In my neighborhood, the winos on the corner have web sites. The taxi drivers have web sites. My dog has a web site. The funny thing about all of these winos, taxi drivers, dogs, small businesses, artists, photographers, real estate agents, doctors, lawyers and everyone else is, 99.99 percent of them don´t know any html.

The garage people figure out, “This Jessica Simpson thing has to stop!” So, what they, the garage people, do is make up a lists of rules using html to filter out what pages are displayed on page 1. Here´s what they came up with.

1. If other web sites link to your web site, your web site gets a Garage Boy, Happy Face.

2. If you put the main “word” about your page subject in the html title tag, then you get another Garage Boy, Happy Face.

3. If you put the same word that was in your title tag (of course, that is an html tag) in the Description tag( another html term that the garage people knew the scammers didn’t know about), then you get another Garage Boy, Happy Face.

4. If you use the same word that you used in the title tag and the description tag in the keywords tag (oh, the garage boys really had em’ now with all of this html language going on), you get another Bonus Garage Boy, Happy Face.

5. If you use the word that you put in the title, description, keywords tags into an h1 tag ( this html tag just put the icing on the cake for the illiterate, non html knowing scammers) in the content of your page, then you get a super Garage boy, happy face.

6. If you use the word that you put in the title, description, keywords, and h1 tags into the actual content of the web page, then,,,,,,DING,,,DING,,,DING,,,,, The Garage Boys put you on page one for your word.

You have to give it to the Garage boys. They did step up and try to give you, me and all the other good people on the planet what we were looking for when we type in “toilet seat.”

seo teacherGarage Boy Meets Toilet Boy at the Bar.

Well was bound to happen. The group of people working in the garage got bigger and sales at the toilet seat place where going down. Just so happened One of the garage boys and one of the toilet seat boys drank at the same bar.

They met by accident, but in their conversation, the Garage Boy spilled all of the Happy Face scoop to the Toilet seat Boy. Long story short, Toilet Seat Boy goes back to Toilet Seat World, spills the beans, the web guy at Toilet Seat World puts Jessica Simpson in the title, description, keywords, h1 tags and content of the web page and once again, on the world wide web, Toilet Seat World is one page one of Google again.

The Happy Face Formula Goes Secret

Being a SEO Teacher and helping people get to page one on Google is hard. But I have to know my history to help out my good clients with good products and services, so let me continue.

The Google garage guys made a lot of money, moved out of the garage, bought expensive cars and houses, married the Jessica Simpson look a like women and bought half of Silicon Valley (that’s near San Francisco). They were ashamed their brainy happy face formula was discovered by Toilet Seat World. So Google (formerly the Garage Boys), decided to make the Happy Face formula Top Secret.

Much of the original Happy Face formula is still intact. But you have to imagine how much money the garage boys have now. With all of that money, the brainy garage boys bought the minds of the brainiest people from all over the world to make the Happy Face Formula even more Secret, with more secret little ways to get Happy Faces.

Black Hat, White Hat

Most of the original 5 happy face rules still hold true. For many web sites, they still work to this day. But today, being on page one of Google is like any other situation. Deviant, brainy people will work a system be they politicians, doctors, lawyers, drug dealers (notice I mention the drug dealers last), they all want the money quick and easy, and once they figure it out, then they want to sell the process to others.

The Golden Happy Face with Google is the “links from other web pages” happy face. This is truly golden. Another Golden Happy Face that most people have no clue of is that the age of the domain name of a site is super Golden, but not as golden as links from other sites (of course who really knows because it’s a secret). The more pages that link to your web site, the higher you will rank on Google. The problem is, getting someone to link to your web site is harder than selling dog dung (if you really want to buy some dog dung, I’ll sell it to you).

Think about it. You´re a funeral home in Manhattan. Who´s going to link to your web site unless you get a group of funeral homes and you all link to each other. That´s the first thing that comes to my mind.

Well, other things came to more devious minds than mine and they figured it out. These deviant minds figured that could build blank web sites by the thousands, millions, and then sell links from these sites to funeral homes, so that the funeral homes could show up on page one of Google (people are just dying to get on page one of Google,,, get it).

I have clients all over the country that are very good, hard working and honest people. One of them came to me and said, “ Ya know Bill, we used to get really good hits on Google, and now, they’ve just gone into the toilet ( I just had to use the word, that´s not what she really said). Her Google stats had gone from thousands of page views a day to scores of page views a day.

Someone sold her on the idea of having 10,000 web pages (fake web pages) linking to her small electronics shop. Business boomed. Then, in September of 2013, Google dropped the boom on everyone that had links to these millions of fake web sites. The Google Penalty came down on thousands of people (oh, I forgot to tell you that the brainy people that the now rich Garage Boys hired figured out they would penalize the scamming toilet seat and funeral home people and they kept the whole penalty system secret too). For the people that bought the links to their sights from the scammy, scum, net scammers, their sites were Banned or greatly filtered on Google for 1 to 2 years. Almost like the plague. A death plague. Death to Black hatters.

This would be called Black Hat SEO.

The Present Day Google SEO

Pretty much, the old Happy Face Bonus’ still apply;

1. If other web sites link to your web site, your web site gets a Garage Boy Happy Face.
2. If you put the main “word” about your page subject in the html title tag, then you get a Garage Boy Happy Face.
3. If you put the same word that was in your title tag in the Description tag, then you get another Garage Boy Happy Face.
4. If you use the same word that you used in the title tag and the description tag in the keywords tag, you get another Bonus Garage Boy Happy Face.
5. If you use the word that you put in the title, description, keywords tags into an h1 tag in the content of your page, then you get a super Garage boy happy face.
6. If you use the word that you put in the title, description, keywords, and h1 tags into the actual content of the web page, then,,,,,,DING,,,DING,,,DING,,,,, We´ll put you on page one for your word.

Now as a SEO Teacher, I´m going to summarize what is going on now with Googles rankings. But remember, this is all a secret so nobody really knows. The Garage Boys guy that spilled the secrets to the toilet seat guy stopped drinking, so he doesn’t go around getting drunk anymore telling everybody how to get on page one.

I remember when I was in college I would go to this laundry mat to do my laundry. In the laundry mat there was Freddy the Wino. He ran the laundry mat. I liked Freddy because we would talk about life. One day Freddy told him that he asked his dad if there was really a God.

Freddy´s dad told him, “Son, no body really knows.”

So as I move ahead, in that Google’s ranking system is under lock and key, some things work, some things don´t but like Freddy´s dad said, “Nobody knows for sure,” except for the guy at Toilet Seat World that drinks with the new Secret Happy Face Formula Guy from Google (oh, the Google guy got so rich that he started drinking again).

The new Google ranking system as of today is based on the 6 happy faces I listed above, plus,,,, Now this one is a biggy, it´s HUGE! Content! I´ll say it again, “CONTENT.” And,,, sit down for this,,,CHANGE……

The New, Super Duper SEO Challenge.

Well you know the drill. How long has the war on drugs been going on internationally? Like, FOREVER! Whatever the rich, brainy, secretive Garage Boys do, someone as smart as a drug dealer comes along and figures out how to beat the system. Whatever Google did in the past, the next day, the drug dealer like geeks figure out a way to beat Google’s latest system, make it work, and then sell the new system to the good people with good services that just want to pay their rent and put their kids through private kindergarten.

So one night, the executives of Google’s wives were having wine together at one of the most expensive restaurants in downtown San Francisco, and one of the wives saw that Toilet Seat World had come up on page one of Google again. She was disgusted.

She and the other wives decided that Google should only rank pages on the internet on page one that actually had (now get this) true, accurate, interesting (here’s the good part),,,, CONTENT!

They made up so new rules, went home and demanded that they take the rules of the wives to the secret staff at Google and institute the rules immediately and threatened that they would give up no sex with the husbands until Toilet Seat World had actually produced information and content to deserve a spot on page one of Google.

seo teacherThe Clincher Happy Face from The Wives.

One of the wives knew the wife of the CEO at Toilet Seat World, and she knew that he was no rocket scientist, and she also knew that maybe he could come up with one article of content, but she also knew that after that, his brain would be all used up. So, this being the case, Toilet World would be a one hit wonder.

The Google boys in the secret room decided that now, along with all the other Happy Face rules, they wanted sites to put up original content, but to stay on page one, the content had to change twice a week with at least 500 characters of change (more clearly put, 500 letters in the page changing twice a week).

Now of course, I say 500 characters, I’ve heard 300 words, again, it’s like Freddy the Wino’s dad said, “Son, nobody really knows.”

From Jessica Simpson to Writer’s Cramps.

There Ya go! You are now current with how to get to, and stay on, page one of Google. Of course this is the basic method.

Now I charge people to listen to me. And of course there are many more things that you can do to work the present Google system using honest methods and practices in White Hat ways to get and keep your wonderful web site on page one of Google.

The really good news is that most of your competitors are really lazy. Most of your competitors were too lazy to know about the early happy faces anyway. Most of you competitors were and are to lazy to understand even basic html and many of your computers are still trying to figure out what the internet is used for. I see it everyday. Believe it or not. People are still pretty much lazy and stupid no matter how much money they have.

As an SEO teacher, over the years, people have paid me to tell them how to get to page one of Google many times. I’m going to say that 9 times out of ten, they listen to me, pay me, they thank me for the information, they are very excited, and then,,,,,,,,,,,, they don’t do anything. I just don’t get it. Time passes, I go to their web site, look at their code to see if they are trying to get any of the Google, Happy Faces, and I can see in the code that even the basic things they could do, that I told them to do, they have not even added to their code. Many of them never even sign up for, or let alone look at their Google Analytics.

As an SEO Teacher, I know for a fact that there are thousands of companies charging millions of companies $150 a month and more to get their web sites on page one of Google. And, I know for a fact that 99 percent of the firms getting paid to do this don’t do a damn thing except get rich.

So, For Now, Let’s Rap This Up.

If you want to get to and stay on page one of Google today, you need a plan, and you need to do the work. If you are serious, you are checking your Google Analytics every morning to see what is going on. I personally know people that have spent $12,000.00 for web sites that are getting about 1 visit a week. That’s funny isn’t it. Just give me the $12,000.00 for nothing. Please!

Most web sites, even today can get to page one. One the other hand, some industries are just to damn saturated. The word is, and has been for about 10 years, that if you are a real estate agent or an attorney, you can just give up unless you’ve been a typical real estate or legal whore like the good ones are and you’ve been doing anything for money for many years and now you are using your typical estate and legal whore techniques to get to and stay on top.

Some industries, groups, organizations are much tougher than others to get to page one. But, like anything else, I truly believe that if you have a good product and a good service and you are willing to work very hard to keep your product good and your service good, and if you are willing to work hard daily on your web site, then you can get a spot on page one of Google.

I have a good service and a good product. I think about and work on my web site everyday. The first thing I do every morning, THE VERY FIRST THING BEFORE BRUSHING MY TEETH, is check my Google Analytics.

If I can be of service in anyway, drop me a line. I charge by the hour. I need your money. Please contact me so I can start billing you today.